Episode 27 – Iron and Gold

— When they finished with that, the Gauls walked out the same door they had come in, some seven months earlier.

The end of our trilogy of the sack of Rome. Brennus is history, and Rome is saved. We also get the best of news from Aeliana and Lucius.

Partial Transcript

Last week we saw Brennus and Quintus Sulpicius holding meetings to decide the fate of Rome.

Both sides were exhausted, both sides had dead piling up on a daily basis, and both sides had an ego larger than the Seven Hills of Rome, combined…

But here, one of the two sides had a slight advantage, and that advantage was the hope that Camillus would arrive with his troops, any time now.

In the meantime, I want you to imagine the city of Rome.

The Circus Maximus, which still only possessed some disposable wooden grades, had become a temporary morgue, and the stench coming from the place, let everyone know where the Gauls decided to pile up and and burn their dead warriors.

To make matters worse, that year had an extremely temperate winter — as if goddess Cloacina, goddess of Rome’s sewers, had decided to clog the drains of the city.

And it was as if Poena, goddess of punishment, and Tempesta, goddess of the storms, had decided to work hand in hand, and between the two of them, they decided to not to unleash a single winter storm during that year.

A storm would at least help get rid of some of the deadly particles, flying in the air.

Yes, the Gauls got the shorter end of the straw, that year.

From the cattle market, just south of the city bridge, all the way to the Porta Capena, in the southeastern corner of Rome, everything was burning, melting, and otherwise getting spoiled.

This was the Rome, that Marcus Furius Camillus was about to save, according to the version the Romans described.

[…]

But Rome…

Rome had no cure.

That’s right, after the citizen grabbed and seized bricks and rocks, and after they built their new homes, Rome was beyond any fixing.

Streets went in zig-zag, they crossed each other in angles that defied any logic, and even sidewalks were of different width as you would walk along one same street, depending on the whim of the homeowner that just built that sidewalk.

[…]

Episode 26 – State of the Union – 390 BC

— Not for nothing there’s a saying that goes something like “your best friend is sometimes the enemy of your enemy.”

The Gauls entered Rome. But where’s Lucius? Also, we list the lands that lay around Rome, and see how they’re doing. Finally, a sprint through the men who ruled Rome since the kings are gone. Consuls and Tribunes.

Partial Transcript

Hello, this is Abel, speaking from Beijing, China. Welcome to my podcast.

The Tale of Rome, Episode 26 — State of the Union – 390 BC.

Last week we saw how the Gauls of Brennus arrived at the gates of Rome — gates that no one bothered to even close…

This week we’re on our episode 26, which means two things:

ONE – We are going through our second STATE OF THE UNION episode, which this time finds us in the year 390 BC,

AND TWO – We’re at 26 episodes, which is roughly half a year of accrued value. One year – 52 weeks; Half a year – 26. Right?

Alright.

This episode, since it’s going to be a little longer, is going to be split in three main parts.

First, we’ll see what was going on in Rome itself.

From there we’ll go to see the world around Rome, taking out usual eagle’s flight, just like last time.

And just like last time, we’ll do that in a clockwise fashion.

Northern Italy first, then Dalmatia, Macedonia, Greece, Asia minor, Syria and the future Palestine, Egypt, Carthage and North Africa. From there to the Iberian Peninsula, the Gauls, and then back to Rome, seeing if there is anything worth mentioning in the Mediterranean islands: Sicily, Corsica, and Sardinia.

If any region did not go through any real major changes, then that region will not be mentioned in our eagle’s flight, and a good example of this would be Germania and the Netherlands, where there hasn’t been any big changes, this time around.

Last, we’ll see a brief list of the rulers of Rome — from our last State of the Union, to this State of the Union.

That means, we’ll see a list of Consuls, Decemvirs, and Military Tribunes who managed the destinies of Rome during these last 119 years.

Not all of them, but the ones that really mattered.

Alright. Shall we?

[…]

495 BC.

Appius Claudius Sabinus, along with Publius Servilius Priscus. That was when Plebeians withdrew from Rome, and walked to the Mount Sacro, protesting for the differences between Patrician and Plebes.

494 BC.

Valerius Maximus was erected Dictator. Reason: The conflict of the Orders.

488 BC.

Gaius Julius Julus. All right — let me say that again… Gaius Julius Julus — not Julius!

He was consul when the Volsci attacked Rome under the command of Coriolanus, the guy whose mom convinced him to stop the attack.

[…]

 

Episode 25 – Here come the Gauls

— And the worst of all, not a single one of Rome’s eight gates was manned, locked, or otherwise taken care of.

The Senons attack and sack the city, all the while Marcus Furius Camillus is banned from Rome.

Partial Transcript

Hello, this is Abel, speaking from Beijing, China. Welcome to my podcast.

The Tale of Rome, Episode 25 — Here come the Gauls.

Last week we saw how Marcus Furius Camillus was exiled from Rome, after having conquered Veii, and after having doubled Rome’s landmass.

As for Veii, the city became a ghost town.

The peasants around Veii — who were initially not disturbed by Rome, were quickly absorbed by a few patrician senators, who took their farms, livelihood, and anything else they had left.

In fact, most of Rome’s new lands fell into the hands of a really small group of Patricians, and Rome felt like the king of the heap.

But — as the saying goes, the higher you fly, the harder you fall, and this was no exception to the rule.

[…]

And then, something that wasn’t supposed to happen, happened.

One of the Roman ambassadors, to be more exact, Quintus Ambustus put a sword in the guts of a Gaul. The Gaul turned out to be one of Brennus’ own counselors.

I can imagine blood swelling out of his guys’ chest like a Roman fountain, until the tall, thick guy finally collapsed on the floor.

Dead.

Everyone stopped for an instant, and Brennus himself jumped back.

After a pause that must have felt like a whole century, Brennus withdrew from the Hall, and all his Gauls followed suit.

People still did not understand what exactly happened, but the only thing everyone understood, was that the chief of the Gauls was more furious than a caged lion, in a city that had its lion games banned, by imperial decree.

Immediately, the three brothers left the Senate, and embarked on their way back to Rome, at full speed.

The diplomatic mission failed, and the brothers — as ambassadors, they were supposed to be totally neutral, failed as well.

A day later, envoys of Brennus arrived at the gates of Rome, and they were immediately escorted to the Senate of Rome.

[…]

 

Episode 24 – Marcus Furius Camillus

— “Don’t do anything halfway through, son.”

Five times appointed Dictator of Rome. Four times Military Tribune. Three triumphs along the streets of Rome. So then, why was he kicked out of the city?

Partial Transcript

Hello, this is Abel, speaking from Beijing, China. Welcome to my podcast.

The Tale of Rome, Episode 24 — Marcus Furius Camillus.

“Father.”

Even though Lucius’ voice was firm and audible, old Marcus did not move a single muscle, in his bed.

Lucius tried again, placing a hand on the old man’s shoulder. Very gently, for he feared to cause him pain with his touch.

“Father Marcus!”

Slightly, Marcus opened his eyes, and a smile showed on his face.

“Did you beat them, boy?”

“Yes, Father,” said Lucius, proudly. “We destroyed them, Father. And I got you this.”

Lucius raised a few scrolls at the height of his father’s eyes, so that he could see them.

Without waiting for the old man to ask, Lucius explained that the parchments were blueprints of machines to stretch leather and animal hides, such as they had never seen them before.

The Etruscans, it turned out, were much more technologically advanced than the Romans, and part of the loot was of immense value to Roman scientists and engineers.

From how to build arches with three center points, all the way to how to improve their sewers systems.

From how to deal with leaking water in pipes, to how to hoist ship sails with the strength of a single man, almost everything in Veii was entirely new to the engineers of Rome of those times.

“Father!  This machine can even stretch reindeer leather,” said Lucius, excited. “We’ll have soooo much work,” the young man figured.

“Ah, the reindeer,” said old Marcus. “There won’t be reindeer in a few more years, son. You’ll see… “

And the old man was right.

In less than two generations the climate slowly began to return to temperatures like those that reigned in Rome, before.

Reindeer, alpine lions, and the long winters, they all began to disappear from Rome.

Never again, did the river Tiber freeze over.

It should add here, that alpine lions were the flowers that we know today as the Edelweiss, and I’m not talking about the African felines.

Lions, as such, had been gone from Italy — and from almost all of Europe, for more than a thousand years now, and the flowers, named Leontopodium Alpinum, or Alpine lions, were now also vanishing from the vicinity of Rome.

“Tell me, son. With all that science, how did you guys manage to get into Veii?”

[…]

Disgusted with the teacher’s stupid idea, Camillus ordered him tied up on the spot, and then tortured with wooden sticks under his fingernails, and other parts, that I don’t even want to mention here.

After that, Camillus went to Falerii, and told the citizens what just happened, and Camillus returned all the innocent children unharmed, and he also gave them the sneaky, stupid teacher.

The people of Falerii were so grateful for Camillus for his attitude, that they immediately cancelled all plans of war, and submitted to Rome, without any conditions whatsoever.

Personal comment: I don’t even want to imagine what that teacher went through, after Camillus was gone.

[…]